When my wife Margaret was a freshman in college, she joined an all girls Bible study that was held in her dormitory. By the end of their senior year, the group had solidified into 9 women who attended regularly. They call themselves “The Nine.” Throughout their time in college, they each grew closer to one another and collectively as a group. They have remained close after all these years and today “The Nine” still share life together through visits with one another, occasional reunions, and through a shared text group. Often when Margaret’s phone is dinging with text after text, I know “The Nine” are having a conversation. Recently Margaret shared with me a conversation they had. One of her friends shared how important it was not to try and fix everything, but rather to just sit, to make time and space for rest even when life is messy and difficult. Another one of “The Nine” agreed and shared that sometimes you feel like going up to a mountain by yourself or taking a nap in a boat while a storm rages around you. This conversation and encouragement for rest and self care fits right in with the gospel reading from the Revised Common Lectionary for the Eighth Sunday after Pentecost, July 18th, Mark 6:30-34, 53-56 says:
The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret and moored the boat. When they got out of the boat, people at once recognized him, and rushed about that whole region and began to bring the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went, into villages or cities or farms, they laid the sick in the marketplaces, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.
Jesus was God on earth. Jesus was the most selfless and sacrificial person to ever exist. He was perfect and yet we see him time and time again being very intentional and making room for self care, for sabbath and rest. Jesus understood he had to take care of himself so that he could take care of others. He had to make room for self care so that he was ready to do the work and be the person he needed to be. These moments of self care in the life of Jesus are obviously there to model for us that we need to do the same. It's modeled for us right from the beginning. In the book of Genesis, God takes 6 days to make all of creation and then we are told he rested on the 7th day. Self care is a spiritual practice that our culture desperately needs to reclaim.
Tami Forman wrote an article for Forbes magazine titled “Self Care is not an indulgence. It’s a discipline.” She explains in that article that self care requires tough-mindedness, a deep and personal understanding of your priorities, and a respect for both yourself and the people you choose to spend your life with. And she cites some examples of self care that I think are really good. Self care is turning off the TV instead of watching another episode because the alarm clock is going to go off at 5AM so you can exercise. It’s saying no to the thing you don’t want to do even if someone is going to be angry at you. It’s doing work that matters and it’s letting other people take care of themselves. Sabbath is a time of rest, a time of worship, or both. Taking Sabbath doesn’t have to be a commitment to a specific day of the week, but rather it can be a morning walk. Sabbath can be riding a bicycle, taking a nap, being a part of a small group Bible study, sharing a meal together, praying, journaling. Anything that preserves an experience of life-giving nourishment and rest is sabbath. This life-giving nourishment will be different for different people.
God was busy in the chaos of creation, but even God took time for rest. Even if we just take 30 minutes for ourselves to do something we enjoy that gives us peace and calmness. That’s important. If we don't take care of ourselves, we’re more likely to burn out and we’re more likely not to take care of others and the various responsibilities we hold. That’s why this is a discipline. And a discipline is not something we just do sometimes, it’s something that becomes a part of our everyday life. It’s making self care a regular practice so that we stay healthy and balanced.
Tami Forman concludes her article by stating, “ironically when you truly care for yourself, exercising all the discipline that requires, you are actually in a much stronger place to give of yourself to those around you. You will be happier, more grateful, and more engaged. Those who take care of themselves have the energy to take care of others joyfully because caregiving doesn’t come at their own expense. And those who take care of themselves also have the energy to work with meaning and purpose toward a worthy goal. Which means they are also the people most likely to make the world a better place for all of us.”
Rest and self care takes many forms, certainly time away and solitude can be vital. However, another important act of self care is to be a part of a group, a church, a Bible study, a community of people who surround us with encouragement and care. Jesus went away with his disciples, “The Twelve,” for rest and restoration. For Margaret, “The Nine” are a source of encouragement and nourishment and serve as an important way of caring for herself. To model Jesus is to go up to a mountain alone, to take a nap on the boat in the midst of the storm, to just sit when life is messy, and maybe to reach out to your own “Nine.”